I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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