it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
