What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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