mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Still dying that you shit outside
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
