I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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