Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just want to make out with him forever
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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