i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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