A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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