the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Randomize
