it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
