She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
