Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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