A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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