Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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