shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
