everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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