I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize