doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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