i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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