Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize