Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Will exercising make me less horny?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize