i can't believe i had my finger in that
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
