I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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