Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
