ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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