I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
