Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
