just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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