my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Two words: blizzard sex
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
