Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
