I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize