Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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