i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize