Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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