Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
