I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize