Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
