Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
