Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize