my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize