There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
