I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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