I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
