Can Purell be used as lube?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
