Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
