school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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