The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
