She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
