Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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