***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
