I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
