What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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