I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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