I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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