we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
