My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I will be naked everywhere
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize