benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
