it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We need to get me chipped asap
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
