man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
