So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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