He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Sorry my hands just texted you
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
i now understand why vodka
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
