this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
