he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
