Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
