Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
