While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
