even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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