Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I believe in your delicious
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
