So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
