Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
