Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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