i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
