I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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