smell my finger.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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