What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
