i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize